I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
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So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
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apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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