I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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