Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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