Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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