i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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