the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
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I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
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Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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