can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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