At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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