oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I checked into jail on foursquare
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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