***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
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