hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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