FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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