Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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