I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize