Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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