we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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