you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
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We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
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I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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