I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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