take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
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