So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Randomize