oh god the rape fog is back!
This house was built for laser tag.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
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Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
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There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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