i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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