I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize