So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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