you win again, gameday.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
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