I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
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