We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
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I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
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every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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