do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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