We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize