It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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