I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
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do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I touched a dick in church today
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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