i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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