Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize