Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
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You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
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Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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