thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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