Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize