It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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