when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize