Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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