some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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