and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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