it wasn't lemon gatorade
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize