What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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