ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize