dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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