you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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