I am puke
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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