im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
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We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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