Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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