bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize